Untitled (2021)

The main form of regret

is emotional avoidance.

I came torn and bereft

never waiting with assurance.

A burden of neglect

now at war with its performance.

Black for Ages (2020)

I'v been black for ages.
I don't have to say this. 
You can see it in my face
when you race across the street 
acting like i'm contagious.
Peep the irony with Covid.
Maybe its inside of me.
You go with your intuition
mixed with your superstition 
which forms a few predictions
based in the spider webs you walk through. 
Without even knowing it haunts you
and scares me 
but rarely would i show it,
instead wearing a mask of being 
carefree and stoic.

It is what it is 
a cage and a fist 
below the matter do we exist.
Temptation to kiss 
the freedoms that are now in our grip.
The youth are equipped
with knowledge 
and the will the resist. 
no longer a wish.
the curtains that were drawn to eclipse 
the truth on our lips 
was not enough to move all the bricks
or break all the whips 
Fugazi from the slavery ships.

it is what it is, 
but maybe it's not,

4am (2019)

Wake up in the morning,

4 o’clock

I don’t know what I’m doing by pursuing what I’m not.

I think I’ll be wasted in this plot.

This story is forming knots around my neck.

I second guess what paragraph I’m on,

lacking respect for myself.

The quiet me is filling with anxiety,

so my health’s denying me 

the energy to crop this pain out the picture.

So I’m not sane,

I'm just praying that I’m lost.

what I’m paying is the cost

of ignoring the voices

that are saying that  our calling is from our self worth.

A warning in the dirt will ensue.

I wish I knew this is from the start but. nah

the process is the star

we only comprehend after 

The feeling of crying with laughter

Laughter with crying 

all releasing the same tears

The rain clears 

And now it's 7.30 in the morning. 

I don't know is what is next 

All I know is that i'm stalling

Our Daughter (2019)

Look at our daughter

Innocent until, proven otherwise

we'd kill to be as wise,

those little eyes are brown.

Focused on her crown,

a queen that rules over nobody,

she’s seen the beauty so far

but the ugliness is close.

Yet we’re so far from understanding

that standing on this earth means opposites occur,

and the worst thing we can do

is place our own

anxieties on her

that she can’t own.

All the things that could

knock you her off her throne.

I think we should just

appreciate these moments that we have.

It's understood,

when we see our fate

we can't get any back,

and when we look

closely at her face

she's everything we lack.

We try to wrap her up in cotton wool

to make her insoluble.

it's what we pull

from nervousness,

but our purpose is to nurture

not deter what's next.

Because it’s coming

stop running from the universal law,

it's not a curse at all

Its what we call

a marriage in the fall.

Indelible Notes (2016)

Pay no mind to my indelible notes
I’m passing through, 
rocking all of the boats, 
stealing paddles from quotes.
And I knew within the battles I wrote, 
that there were few if any moments of growth
in those gargantuan oaths.

So when I write, 
do I write for us both?
Does it eschew pain or does it evoke 
an homophilous choke.
All we see in this vision is smoke
Indecision is the popular vote 
in the election of hope.

We're the kind that falls apart to evolve
closing doors so we solve
the mysteries of our souls
and who knows
we may just find the keys to inner resolve,
then step away from inclinations to fold,
facing the chorus of old. 

I’m just talking, 
ignore every thought please.
I freeze when you shine that light in my face, 
and encased in every line 
are pictures to trace 
of signs signifying dreams we erased.
Defying all that we chased.

Time (2016)

Time,

so when is our right time

Is it now?

The mind,

Are we in our right minds?

Do we allow thoughts?

only the right thoughts to enter?

The pressure.

Are we in this together?

Remember?

The centre of our being

Are we seeing what it means

when our dreams seek solace

through the painting of a scene.

Is it all as it seems?

This ageing routine

elevating esteem of the self.

But we’re keen to fulfil

empty promises until

we are broken in a field.

And I cannot for the sake me conceal

The asphyxia revealed the confliction in my steps.

I guess I’m filled with amorous regrets

I need rest to feel less yearning

Turning the page

Learning to gauge lucidity

under this phase that’s willing me on.

The thunderous days will surely be gone

To cure the malaise

So I do not vacillate in your gaze.

Untitled (2016)

Think about it,
we don’t know any better.
So instead of walking away
we betray 
then say whatever.
Birds of a feather.
We’ll stay together 
as long as we never talk about it.

Enough (2015)

Nobody’s perfect. 
We spin around mistakes then in a fake we resurface 
and hesitate when were nervous, 
and the curse is 
underneath the verses. 
the things that don’t get said 
when renewed life emerges. 
Things like the demons 
that live inside of you 
won’t lose sight of purpose 
even though you've found your view. 
And you are on your own, 
even in a crowd full people, 
all alone thinking that one day you would be equal. 
Waiting for your sequel 
but it never comes 
you succumb to the worlds stage 
even though it numbs. 
And at this age 
you can’t express it through rage, 
you would rather sit in your cage 
and make it beautiful 
then forget about what he says or she says 
because who are they to judge? 
their words are only words and you are ineffable as such. 
You rush into the corner of your mind 
self-expressing all time 
effervescing in decline 
life lessons redefined.

 
But before you let that sink in 
remember I was blinking 
at night instead of sleeping 
I was sinking and augmented, 
state of mind rented, 
to find temporary signs that’s amor scented. 
Was I more accepted then? 
before a pen became the shape of a friend. 
In vain I would like to defend 
the lane inside the pretend. 
The mind speaks for itself, 
a kind of leak for the wealth 
of blind leeches in stealth 
as signs reach for your health. 
When who you are is who you will never be. 
A declining star is who you are meant to be. 
Nevermind I’m far from aligning mentally, 
when you are still here sitting next to me. 
Making it clear that dysfunctional people attract. 
It’s feeble in fact the game we both try to enact. 
A spurious fact that pulling wool over our eyes, 
We lie to ourselves 
when really we love in disguise. 
Then realise that we are clearly in denial, 
our spirits in a pile on the floor 
and we are sore from the bile 
we create when together in a state 
of depression the expression is the opposite, 
an adolescent composite. 
I heard we're absurd 
from the voices in my head 
but instead we choose to ignore the core of that notion 
so emotion overtakes, 
the choices I should make, 
forcing the mistake with my foot above the break. 
We accelerate further. 
The voice becomes a murmur then silence. 
A magnetic violence, 
two poles together in loopholes 
endeavouring new woes 
and severing mute souls 
it’s never been too cold for us. 
I'm writing these letters to discuss 
issues that have now formed dust, 
I was never in a rush 
I was revelling in everything but love. 
Voice whispering again. 

Toss and Turn (2014)

Take your time, 
you will find, in every line 
a fence to climb. 
When you fear all that's near, 
your thoughts resign. 
When you're scared and unprepared 
for life's design. 

Tell your friends that you are fine, 
avoiding all that talk. 
Running into obstacles 
when you would rather walk. 
The people around your shell 
in tiny webs they're caught. 

Toss and turn 
all you learn when crimes adjourned, 
your mind will burn. 
And the flames pick up their speed. 
When patience is all you need. 
You are grateful for all the opposites, 
clashing with all you read. 

So take your time 

words jumping off the page, 
enticed by an empty rage, 
whispering in syllables 
through the ear of a shaking cage 

so take your time

Freckled (2014)
I prefer her early in the morning 
no make-up on her face. 
When there’s sleep in her eyes 
and nothing to hide the grace. 
Her natural beauty is something she doesn’t see, 
30 minutes in the mirror 
Covering up for me. 
She’d rather listen to magazines and tv 
than to the man that loves her unconditionally. 
I tell her 
everyday that she’s beautiful, 
she doesn’t hear, 
She smiles 
and the news travels from ear to ear, 
she doesn’t hear my message as sincere 
so in fear 
she makes her face perfectly clear. 
Her freckles are gone, 
Disconsolate thoughts carry on 
You see them as scars, 
I see them as stars. 
Venus and mars 
floating in space 
My judging creates a wall, 
you tell me you need space to breathe 
and tell me you wont leave 
but say it’s either me 
or your version of me, 
Accept me for who I am 
Respect is free. 

She’s more than he thinks 
She’ll call him tomorrow 
With thoughts on the brink 
Descriptive in sorrow 

The very thing you bemoan 
is what caught your eyes 
My freckles were disguised 
And I’m sure you said 
I was beautiful then, 
In 2010 
So what changed? 
My allure? 
It’s strange now you’re more 
capricious 
of my features 
than before 
So words you ignore. 
memories are indelible 
I’m forever sore 
These scars are not stars 
they’re far from it. 
They remind me of the years 
running home to vomit 
my pain away, 
Hannah and Faye 
played dot to dot on my face 
with permanent markers. 
All I could hear 
Was laughter 
Whilst trapped in a toilet 
I just wanted to scarper. 
Day after day, 
the exact the same routine 
so please don’t talk to me 
about magazines 
and how I’m influenced 
and that it seems 
I’m a sheep to societal dreams 
I’m more than that. 

She’s more than he thinks 
She’ll call him tomorrow 
With thoughts on the brink 
Descriptive in sorrow 

Insomnias Date (2013)

I should go to sleep,
I'm tired and wide-awake
with thoughts racing through me peddling

and spinning with no brakes.
I think I need a break
before I dive in a lake
that's deep in my mind.
I'm inclined to search and never find
when I'm blind,
seeking clarity in my thoughts,
apparently I exhort
a kind of melancholy state when its late.
Insomnias Date
2oclock,
I'm struggling to shut off,
thoughts running amuck,
Stop,
Is what I tell myself.
I hope my brain will listen

and surround me in a wealth of dreams
so I redeem a token of self, conscious eyes on the shelf,
disguising psyche to melt.
Impel a monodrama

Maybe ill be calmer in the morning,
dispel and harbor in the same breath.
Unless in dreaming an inane quest

forces me to wake up In the same mess.

Blind Clouds (2013)

As I walk on her cloud,
wondering if I’m allowed
to pick up the phone
and hear the sound of her voice.
It's my choice, but really its hers,
she's got control over all my nerves.
and if these words serve
to do nothing but express
the reason I may seem stressed
Its probably for the best
that I pretend to have no interest
but I've Invested all my love
It wasn't enough, incredulous in us.
Petulance is in our residence,
this isn't a home no more
so what’s the score?
I know you're sitting on your sisters couch
unable to vouch,
I'm at home
afraid and alone
staring at the phone.
I'm prone
to caring more than I should
more than she ever could.
Read a horoscope saying Scorpios cling onto the past
as if life is a draft.
 

No love in her voice,
It used to be so sweet,
she spoke to me like I was just cold meat.
It hurt me, but admittedly it made me see
the way I should be
and no longer
will I stare into the air and wonder
whether the thunder
and the rain
will remain
in her brain.
The storm is over
and I overstand
that fighting in quicksand
just does more damage in the end
and I can in fact manage and defend my soul
forget holes and falling in them,
I'd rather fight some demons
that were holding me back
so I can relax in a state
of perfect confusion
and not just relapse to a fate
of broken delusion
my brain and my heart are in fusion
so I wont be choosing
just sitting here like Dizzee in the corner in 03.
The story is that solitudes no longer against me.
When I look in this mirror will I see
a mountain staring back or a slide in my iris
either life is perfect , though the opposite matters
dyslexic so mind the grammers
because life is perfect even though the opposite scatters
dyslexic so mind the grammers

A well read girl frowned from across the street
It was once said that there minds would one day meet.
They would hold hands nervously
for the first time
at nine
after red wine
helped them see
their time had come
their woes were done
who would have thought that they would end up as one.
They were friends and they both were in relationships that met their end too early
or so it seemed to them at the time
but not its their time to represent love
and show the world its worth it.
The hassle
the build and share their own castle.
Imagine a marriage and two kids
Rosa and Paige.
The years go by they're growing with age
and noticing their parents marriage is falling apart
and that love is a fine art
a canvas of the heart.

Little Rosa is the oldest
thinking that boys are the coldest.
Fights between her mom and dad she has noticed.
When she's older she'll learn
that its part of the process
and the world will still turn
with or without her protest

Paige has got the blue eyes
in the family of brown,
she's three years old
and barely a frown was written on her face
Rosa looks down at her sister with pride
they look nothing alike
but the feeling inside
can never be replaced.
and mom and dad are still married
getting carried down the river
holes in the boat
fixing leaks one by one
staying afloat
trying for a son
still having fun.
Shooting for the stars with a silver lined gun.

Twelve Pieces (Time)

Breaking a clock into twelve small pieces.

Indivisible time still lacks the intent,

for the arms are still only a few.

Fighting to define space in the cracks.